As a Baby Boomer I see many people of all ages questioning other people’s belief in God. On Facebook I have even had “friends” say that they didn’t want to see all of my religious posts. Well in my Bible (King James Version); Matthew 10:33 is says “But whosoever shall deny me before men, him will I also deny before my Father which is in heaven.”
Today I choose to speak about my belief and why I believe…
Growing up my dad was in the military. In the 50s and 60s if your dad was in the Army you moved; often. At each new location my parents would take us to Sunday School. As we got older we joined the church choir. My parent were not; for lack of a better word; “Holy Rollers”. We went to Sunday School and my parents would be active in the different areas of the churches. It was an easy way to meet people. We prayed before meals and before we went to bed.
When I was in the 6th grade we made our last move as a family in the military and we quite going to church on a regular bases. We were in a new location, my dad was getting ready to go to Vietnam, we were in our first public schools, life happened. I can remember wanting to go to church and my mom, at times, taking us to church as a family or dropping me off at church alone. I remember on one visit our church was giving Bibles to anyone who didn’t have their own. This is when I received my first very own Bible. I can’t tell you if my parents and siblings were there I just remember that calmness, warmness and closeness and the joy and pride of now owning my own Bible.
In 7th grade my older sister went into the hospital to have her leg operated on and she 
came out with a full leg cast and would go through months of physical therapy. A couple of months later my father came back from Vietnam in a full body cast and an infection running through his body. Then my brother jumped over a fence and broke his ankle so bad he needed surgery. And then my mom ended up in the hospital having emergency surgery. That left me, a 7th grader and my little sister, a 1st grader, as the only healthy able bodies in the house. But I had my Bible and knew that everything would be alright. Somehow, someway everything would be okay.
By 8th grade everyone was healing nicely and my dad was on his way to a new base. We, the family, were staying put, not moving. Life wasn’t perfect but I had my Bible and knew that everything would be alright.
By 9th grade I didn’t have a lot of self confidence because I had always struggled in school. I had always had issues with reading and spelling which affects every other course you take. Having a brother and sister who were straight A students didn’t help, because there were standards that needed to be followed. But things were okay because by 9th grade I didn’t have high aspirations for myself. I was going to marry right after high school graduation and become a wife and mother. Then I got my heart broken. When you are that young it really hurts. But life was going to go on and it would be okay because I had my Bible. I re-focused, continued in my dance classes and got involved in sports. I was feeling like I had found my new path in life.
In 10th grade I was involved in a motorcycle accident; that to this day I don’t remember. I suffered very few external injuries but did suffer, what today would be referred to as, traumatic brain injuries. I was in a coma for over a week and when I came to the left side of my face was black and swollen. Due to the injuries, when I was allowed to go back to school, I wasn’t allowed to participate in any of the activities or sports that I had been pursuing. I also had to overcome the fear of riding in motor vehicles or on a motorcycle. I don’t know why I survived but I did. The bright side of having the accident was the doctors determined that I have dyslexia, which explained the issues that I was having with learning.
I needed to find something to focus on so I threw myself into work. I got a job at a fast food restaurant and became the best employee they had. I learned all aspects of the job and worked as many hours as allowable. I then went on to waiting tables and tending bar. I went to college and with the corrective (colored) lenses I was able to do better in class.
Then I was hospitalized for 10 days with a severe Kidney infection. When I was admitted I was running a temperature of 103.7, my legs couldn’t hold me up and my head felt like it was about to explode. When I was finally released from the hospital I had to give up my apartment and move back in with my parents. I had to cut back on the number of hours that I had been working. But during this time I saw how many people (outside of my family) that I had touched and that cared about me. I also admitted that I had no passion for college and didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up, so I left college. I pursued classes at the community college hoping that one day I would find out what I wanted to do when I grew up. I became an avid reader and could now concentrate on what I was reading, because the words didn’t move. All the while knowing that everything would be alright because I had my Bible.
Then I got pregnant with my son and it was a easy pregnancy until the last two days at which time complications set in and I wasn’t sure if my child was going to survive. I prayed like I had never prayed before, I questions God as to why he would allow my baby to suffer, and I questioned what I had done that was so bad that my son would be taken from me. My child was born and he grew into a smart, strong, loving young man and my life began to flourish.
I figured out what path I needed to walk down, what profession I needed to begin to follow and how to be the best mom possible. I began to believe in myself which opened up many job opportunities and led to different educational opportunities. I was able to start my own business that I was able to run from my home which gave me the opportunity to be a single, stay at home mom. I was able to be an active participant in my child’s life as he was growing up.
I could have given up at anytime, but because I had my Bible I didn’t. When I felt so alone I was able to open my Bible and there would be words of comfort, encouragement and love.
As I sit here nearing 60 years of age I remember many a lonely nights going to a beautiful 
church that I found. It was an old church with the stained glass windows, the old heavy wooden pews, the old sculptures and the warmth of age. I would go into the church and just sit there, all alone, and talk to God and when I left I would know everything would be alright. When the church began locking its doors at night I would set on the stoop and talk to God. There are times that I miss being able to sit on the stoop of this church and visit with God. What I do know is that no matter where I am at and no matter what time of day it is God is there to hear me and that I can always find his comfort in my Bible.
God has not promised me that my life will be a bed of roses but he has promised me that he would be there for me. God has not said that I can just sit on the sideline and let others do for me, but he has promised me that he would be there for me. God has not said that I can give up and feel sorry for myself, but he has promised me that he would be there for me and I believe because without him I would have given up a long time ago…
By the Grace of God go I…